


The Venn Diagram of Friendship and Romance in This Particular Case Is...?

by moonlitjellies



Category: Actor RPF, New Zealand Actor RPF, New Zealand Comedy RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:00:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29124543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitjellies/pseuds/moonlitjellies
Summary: Indulging in some favorite tropes of mine, so stick around for star-crossed lovers, questions that beg asking but aren't asked, lost time, bad timing, friends in love who won't acknowledge it, will they/won't they and maybe they do or maybe they don't in the end. I'm a sucker for love, babey, and the lengths we go for it.I adore Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement and there's an alternate universe out there where they're in love. This is that.
Relationships: Jemaine Clement/Taika Waititi
Kudos: 6





	1. How to Say I Miss You

"Hey, mate."

Jemaine looked over his shoulder into the crowded pub. Seeing no one, he figured it was for someone else. He looked back at down at his drink, nearly empty. He motioned to the bartender for another.

"Hey, mate!"

Jemaine looked over his shoulder again, still no one. He had only had one drink, but now he was questioning if he was in the right headspace for another one. Was it getting to him already? He stirred the mixing straw in his mojito. At least it wasn't a fan approaching him. In New Zealand, he could know peace.

"Hey, mate," the voice said. "Other shoulder."

Jemaine turned to his right instead of his left.

"Taika," Jemaine said. "That was you calling my name?"

"Who else, mate?" Taika said, taking a seat at the stool next to Jemaine.

"I had no idea," Jemaine said, laughing. "I figured it was for someone else. The fans always say my name."

"Do you want me to say your name?" Taika said. "I really am a big fan." He feigned flirtatious eye-fluttering. Jemaine rolled his eyes and Taika laughed.

"Think I'm more tired than I realized," Jemaine said, sipping through the too-small cocktail straw.

"Writing room today?" Taika asked. He motioned to the bartender. "A Negroni, please."

As the bartender poured Taika his drink, he looked at his friend. Tired, as he already knew, with some salt and pepper in the beard now, but still a relaxed demeanor about him. Still the same person he knew when they were young and at university together, even if life had flown by since.

"Negroni," Jemaine said. "I didn't realize we were being so fancy."

Taika stuck his pinky out, sipping his drink through the tiny straw. "Epitome of fancy," he said, gesturing from his head to his feet.

Still so fit, Jemaine noticed, even under a scruffy beard, a flannel shirt, and jeans, in the dim light of the pub.

Taika was smiling, Jemaine too. A few moments of silence between them before they reacted in awkwardness to the undeniable intimacy between them.

"You look great, Taika," Jemaine said.

Taika shrugged. "All the working out they have me doing on the Thor set. I can give you the number of my personal trainer."

Jemaine felt stung by Taika's joke. He either didn't notice how Jemaine was feeling or was changing the topic.

"I mean it," Taika said, stirring his drink.

"I know," Jemaine said. Taika looked up at the rugby match on the screen, feigning interest in it to avoid the awkwardness. Jemaine scanned the bar for the same reason, looking for some inspiration for a topic change.

"Listen, Jemaine," Taika said. "I know what you meant."

"Yeah?" Jemaine said. He turned from the crowd, his entire body now facing Taika.

"You know I love you, Jemaine. You know I love being your friend."

Friend. It was true. They were friends. Yet it still stung Jemaine.

"I know," Jemaine said. "You know I love being your friend, too. We're good at it. We've done it for over 20 years now." He loosened up a bit, laughing. He couldn't stay hurt or mad at Taika.

"We have done it for 20 years now, yeah," Taika said. "We've done it well and done it badly."

"Cheers to that," Jemaine said.

They clinked glasses. Taika flashed a huge smile. The rugby game caught his attention again for a moment, not because he was looking for an escape, but because his attention wandered.

"Cheers to that, mate," Taika said.

Another silence between them, this one familiar and more comfortable. They both watched the TV for a few minutes, not minding the silence. It had been months since they'd seen each other. Maybe there was a learning curve to get back into how things had been.

This time it was Taika watching Jemaine. The warmth in his friend's eyes, how he gave everything in his focus all his attention, his tooth gap.

"I missed you, Jemaine," Taika said, a rare moment of seriousness breaking through.

Jemaine's focus moved from the game, completely back to Taika. Taika in all his warmth, kindness, the way he could take up an entire room with all that charisma.

"Taika, I've missed you so much."

"I need a smoke," Taika said, putting cash on the counter for the bartender. "Do you want to take a walk with me?"

"Of course."

Jemaine followed Taika through the pub, out into the cool summer air with the ambience of crickets and the smell of smokers. "Let's go this way," Taika said.

Jemaine, so warm in the company of his best friend, was happy to follow.


	2. Asking the Magic 8 Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After leaving the pub, Taika and Jemaine wander around town and topics they need to address but they're avoiding. They consult a Magic 8 ball.

"This way, this way, this way," Taika said as they moved through a crowd of smokers outside the bar. He gently put his hand on Jemaine's elbow, guiding him. Jemaine giggled, causing Taika to laugh too.

It was raining slightly, just a sprinkle, chilling them slightly in the cool summer air but not enough to be uncomfortable. Streetlights reflected in the street. A soundtrack of cars splashing in puddles behind them and people talking in the distance.

"Which way, Taika?" Jemaine said.

"Hmm," Taika said. "We could go up that hill and look down at the city or we could wander the university campus for a bit. What do you think?" He looked directly at Jemaine and smiled.

"Okay, let's see," Jemaine said. "A big decision here. We could regret this for the rest of our lives if we make the wrong choice."

"You're right," Taika said. "Don't fuck this up, Jemaine."

"Well, I can't let you fuck this up either, Taika," Jemaine said.

"So what do we do?" Taika said. "We have one of the greatest decisions of our lives at stake here." 

They were stalling, both of them. Avoiding any serious conversations they both wanted and needed to have, but neither wanted to initiate. But it was also the first time they'd seen each other in almost a year. Enjoying each others company and being ridiculous -- maybe they were falling back into their old ways. And they both wanted that, as effortlessly as possible.

"I have a Magic 8 ball app," Jemaine said. "How about we put it in fate's hands?"

"You have a Magic 8 ball app?" Taika laughed, a huge smile flashing across his face as he threw his head back a little bit.

"Yes, actually." Jemaine giggled. A loud, goofy laugh, Taika noticed. One he'd grown familiar with over the years and had missed hearing.

"How often do you use this thing?"

"In situations like this," Jemaine said. "When my friend and I are making the most important decision of our lives, whether to go up a hill or continue on the path. Tough, very important decisions like that."

"Mhmm," Taika said. "You totally use this thing when you're trying to decide whether to get takeout."

Jemaine giggled again, shrugging.

"Oh you totally do!" Taika said.

"Maybe," Jemaine said. "Okay, so let's ask this thing. But I think you need to do the honors." Jemaine handed him his phone. 

"I accept this responsibility," Taika said. He feigned a serious face, placing a hand on Jemaine's shoulder. They both broke into laughter.

"Do it, Taika," Jemaine said.

"Okay. Okay," Taika said. He adjusted his posture, standing up straight. He adjusted his feet, making them hip width apart. With a giant smile across his face, Jemaine smiled. He adjusted his glasses in nervousness and awe at his friend.

Taika closed his eyes, trying but failing to hide his smile. "Should we go up the hill? Should we take a look over the city, Magic 8 ball?" He gently shook Jemaine's phone.

"What's it say?" Jemaine said. He got close to Taika, noticing for a moment how warm he felt against his friend.

"It says, 'Ask again later.'"

"This thing is a dickhead," Jemaine said.

"You try," Taika said, handing Jemaine's phone back to him.

Jemaine waved his phone. "It is decidedly so."

"Up the hill it is, then," Taika said.

"Let's hope it helped us make the right choice," Jemaine said as they started up the hill. It wound for a few miles, but Jemaine didn't mind the extra time he would be spending with Taika, wandering and talking aimlessly.

"What if it's setting us up for failure?" Taika said. "A scheming Magic 8 ball. You think there's a ghost in there?"

"Oh, absolutely," Jemaine said. "It's the only way to connect to the Oracle of Delphi in modern times."

Some silence fell between them as they walked. Jemaine didn't mind. He wanted a moment to collect his thoughts. He was enjoying Taika's company, but felt stilted and awkward in his conversations. Nervousness about all the things they weren't saying were holding him back. And for the first time in the long time he had known him, Jemaine was very hung up on what Taika might think.

Taika whistled, filling the silence a bit. He knew Jemaine was quiet because a lot of thoughts were stirring through his head. He could say the same for himself. But Jemaine was usually the one who would initiate the tougher conversations, whether they were negotiating a contract or working out the tougher parts of their friendship. Taika was used to not being the first one to say anything, even if he suspected he noticed things earlier. Maybe it was time for a change.

But a serious topic intimidated Taika. Before any of that, he wanted to enjoy Jemaine's company. He wanted to make him laugh.

Taika looked to see if anyone was watching, but no one was in sight. He moonwalked backwards up the hill, his arms in the air proudly.

"I forgot that this is my normal walk," Taika said. "This is how I get places."

Jemaine laughed, doing a shoulder shimmy. "This is how I get places."

Jemaine started a beatbox beat. Taika continued moonwalking, waving his arms in the air. Jemaine walked as he did the robot.

A car driving past them rolled down the window. "What are you freaks doing? Freaks!" It sped away, splashing a puddle at them.

They burst into laughter, Taika putting his arm around Jemaine. "It feels so good to be an idiot again."

"It sure does, mate."

At the top of the hill, Wellington's skyline shimmered in the distance. Jemaine and Taika sat in the grass as they admired the scenery. Nervously and to keep himself busy, Taika picked at the grass. It was chilly and Taika wanted to scoot closer to Jemaine.

"What do you think all those people are doing, in those buildings?" Jemaine asked, pointing to the skyline.

"Somebody is definitely having sex," Taika said. "Pretty likely, I think. Statistically and whatnot."

"Two people, probably," Jemaine said, laughing. "If one person is, somebody else is with them."

"At least," Taika said.

"Someone in that building is googling whether people still do the macarena at weddings," Jemaine said.

"Do people still do that dance at weddings?" Taika asked.

"Good question," Jemaine laughed.

"You know at least three of those people are picking their nose," Taika said.

"Speaking of wondering things," Jemaine said. Taika got nervous for a moment, thinking Jemaine was changing the topic to the months they spent apart. "Do all adults still pick their noses? Like, do people actually stop? Or do we just grow up and learn to do the picking privately?"

Taika touched Jemaine's leg, laughing. "Do you still pick your nose?"

"Maybe," Jemaine said. "Do you?"

"Well I know a lot of people do it in the car at stoplights," Taika said. "A lot of people."

"I think one person might be wondering what these two dudes are doing sitting on this hill at 12:30 in the morning," Jemaine said. "Statistically, someone has to be wondering that."

"I'm finally getting to see you," Taika said. "After months of being too busy, I'm finally getting to see you. We can let that guy wondering know that." Taika gave a wry smile.

Jemaine put his arm around Taika, rubbing his shoulder. Taika leaned into Jemaine, resting the top of his head against Jemaine's chin. "I would like to let that guy know that seeing you is the best thing that's happened to me lately. And I would also like to tell him to mind his own business."

Taika laughed. He put his hand on Jemaine's leg. Jemaine smiled. 

Taika pulled back, looking at Jemaine. He stroked Jemaine's face, feeling the stubble beneath his fingers. "Even with all that salt and pepper you're looking good."

"You're looking phenomenal."

"I always knew we'd age well."

Taika leaned in, kissing Jemaine. Stubble against his lips, stubble against Jemaine's. He gently stroked Jemaine's back as Jemaine ran his fingers through Taika's hair. Shivers and tension between them.

"Hey, Taika," Jemaine said. Taika was nervous again, worried Jemaine would approach the seriousness and the moment would be ruined. "I don't want to sound too forward, but do you want to take an Uber to my apartment? We could order a pizza and watch a movie."

"Ask the Magic 8 ball," Taika said, leaning toward Jemaine again and resting his head on his shoulder.

With one hand wrapped around Taika, Jemaine pulled his phone out of his pocket with the other.

"It says it is certain," Jemaine said.

Taika ran his fingers across Jemaine's hand. "It would've been certain anyway."


End file.
